Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i may or may not be watching the land before time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
