no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
