I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
