what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
