Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
