so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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