someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
