we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
