small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
