party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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