K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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