Pregnant stripper...not hot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
