Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
