I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
