I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
