considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
