You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize