i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
