i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize