Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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