I looked at my own cervix.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
