omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
