super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
