his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
