drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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