Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
