I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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