There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
