Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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