You're a womanizer and a bitch.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
