like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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