I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
