why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
