Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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