While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My liver just had a heart attack.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
