need another drink. this is the easiest way
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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