Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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