They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
