everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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