Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
