Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
