Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
