Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
