My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
