break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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