she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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