I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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