This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
