yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize