Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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