dude i'm inner monologue high
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
