Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
