just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
