I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
