Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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