Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
