umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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