There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
