i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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