That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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