"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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