gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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