sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
