Non-Jews are for practice
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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